so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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