i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
