Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I supernannyed him into submission
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
