I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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