i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I have tasted many bathrooms
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
