sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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