Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
