still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
