Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
