my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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