I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
