We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
