I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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