youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I want to fling myself into the sun
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
