did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You can't just leave with hair like that
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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