I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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