even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'm at about main and main street
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Randomize
