It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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