I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
