Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
