did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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