well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
