That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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