Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize