Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
