tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
