i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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