i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
