I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
