He is an equal opportunity slut.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
