gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
