She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
