I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
