i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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