do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
