So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
