Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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