D3 body, D1 cock
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
