Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Damn victory sex feels great
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