My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
