im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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