You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
