I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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