does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
