SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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