I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
We are all done wearing pants today
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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