He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
