Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
