Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
