I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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