Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
