I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
