I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
