I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
