thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
