I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
