Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
