don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
